An open letter to the ignorant self-described ‘city girl’

by Wanjiku Wanderi - Jorgensen July 15, 2014 228 comments
Open Letter to City Girl

Dear City Girl,

You see it is very easy to laugh, condemn and be utterly sarcastic to others when you have little basis of what their life story is all about. It is easy to sit behind a computer and punch in words of life that you have not lived either based on experiences you have overheard in a bar or whatever social circles you roam. It takes a conscious mind to do some meaningful research and turn them into a well-meaning and all-inclusive article. You are young, unmarried and ‘free’. You are the Zebra teaching the Lion how to hunt. Your words, seem as though your worldview and experiences shape them. The undertones of your rhetoric come across as bitter, subjective, delusion and so out-of-touch that one can only mutter to themselves, ‘oh the folly of the sassy, sarcastic, insulting young city woman whose journey has just begun!” Such irony.

City Girl

I don’t know much about the upbringing of a city girl seeing that I grew up in the countryside. From your articles, though, this city girl sounds like all talk no action. She is speaking on behalf of the philandering man and justifying his wayward life. Back in the village, the male folk in bars used to talk about the latest ‘kahawa or chai bonuses’, their wives, acquired land and mostly local politics, down to the local chief issues. Interestingly, the city men look like they sit in bars and open up to the ‘independent’ lady sipping on her expensive cocktail bought with her hard-earned money, about their marital problems.

Talk of a writer’s goldmine. From here you gather your data and use it to point fingers at women and blame them for their husband’s sneaky affairs. Men must love you – to them you are better than a priest or their male friends. You understand their problems; one because you are a single woman, and you are also in a position to write and give their wives a solution to the unspoken marital woes. You must be the most sought after male companion. I picture all these men hovering around you, pouring out their marriage problems, describing in detail why they slept with the secretary or the ‘pretty young thing’, and you the ever listening journalist nodding your head in empathy as you take mental and actual notes. In the end, you promise them a solution. Perhaps a way out. You are going to write their story and reach out to wives with the single narrative that they are to blame if the man cheats.

The men retreat to their seats, order another drink for themselves and an expensive cocktail for you (which you decline because you don’t mix work with pleasure…and of course you are an independent woman), they thank you heartily and express their full support for your endeavours. The men, patting their bloated egos, are absolved of their sins, and you have bagged your next story. Perfect win!

You call women fat

Now that is just rude. Someone didn’t teach you manners. There is a difference between being forward and being mean. Did you know that discourteous people are often more disliked than the so-called ‘fat’ ones? These plus-size ladies have their stories to tell, which if you did some research, you would discover that theirs is either related to genes, thyroid deficiency or a constant weight loss battle. However, you are a lazy writer only keen to tell one side of the story. And bullies like to call others fat to validate their body image issues. Bullies also like to get attention, and they will use whatever means and ways necessary to pass their message across. Sadly, you are using the national newspaper to serve this purpose.

Whatever issues you have with plus-size ladies does not give you any right to pen it down and blame them for their men’s philandering ways. A cheating man will dip his penis in anything outside his marriage, whether he is married to Miss Universe or the local ‘Mama Mboga’. A Faithful man, on the other hand, will stand by his wife through ‘thick and thin’ because he knows her journey and appreciates that the body you called ‘ugly, unsightly and unheavenly’ is the one that carried and nurtured his children. He will lift those ‘flabs and folds’ and love her like no other man can. And yes, such gentlemen do exist, but you won’t find them at your local bar.

See Njoki; I was once very petite with what I called ideally placed breasts. Then I got pregnant, had hyperemesis gravidarum (a pregnancy condition that Kate Middleton had too), lost 25 percent of my body weight. After the baby had come, I ate, to sustain myself and my ever hungry son. I followed my doctor’s advice on not to worry so much about the kilos packing up, and I was ok with that as long as my child was healthy and fed. I drunk up the fermented uji that my mother served. I had a 1.5-liter thermos next to my bed for midnight snacking, because in our culture such feeding from those looking after a new mother is an expression of love. And boy, did I gladly accept that unconditional love. Naturally, the kilos went up. My baby belly took its time to return to the pre-baby shape, my breasts drooped. I acquired stretch marks from the expanded and retracted belly, which your ignoramus-self describes as marks resulting from eating like a ‘pig’. This was, and still is, my 4th-trimester body. It is a testament to a journey that I have a taken. The priceless journey to motherhood.

But you know what, your loathing words only reflect the kind of person you are inside. These women you call fat have come to love their bodies. I see some of them every day working so damn hard to lose weight so that they can fit a particular social perception of what is beautiful. The kind that you negate as fat and ugly. I am proud of the mother’s out there who look themselves in the mirror see past their sizes and bring out what you scoff off as ‘inner beauty’. These women have learned that character is more endearing than their dress size. They do not have to allow discriminating and excluding people like you to stand between them and their happiness.

Njoki, I assume that you are yet to have children if you ever want them, but here is something you and women and men of your kind should know. Do not laugh at and mock fellow women, unless the person you are mocking is yourself. Do not go about assuming that your shallow worldview fits into everyone‘s outlook on life. Do not throw rocks when you live in a glass house. Everybody is entitled to self-respect.

The nagging fat wife

Hey, why are you, a single lady, drinking with married men? I forgot. You are their self-described priest-writer-shrink. What an honour! This man has opened up to you that he cannot stand his wife’s nagging. She is calling him endlessly, disrupting the stimulating conversation that you two are having about her ‘physical unattractiveness’. Your words. Not mine! This narrative brings to mind the age-old adage: “Women are their worst enemies.” If I sat at the bar with some married man, which I don’t, and his phone kept ringing off the hook. I would be curious to know why he is not picking up unless of course the two of us are having a clandestine evening and those phone calls are disturbing the flow of fingers; I mean conversation. What you assume is a wife nagging her husband could be a genuine case of a deadbeat father and husband who left his family without any money for food and chose instead to splurge it on some ‘city girl’. Some men are known to sponsor by their ‘mpango wa kando’ dates at the expense of their family’s well-being.

Next time you think that a woman is nagging her husband, look at him directly in the eye and fish for the truth. Not his truth but the real one. Then write about that because you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. A man or woman will cheat on a faithful spouse just to boost their ego. He could have married a perfect career minded, Martha Stewart-in-the-kitchen, intelligent, educated, raunchy in bed, monogamous, independent woman and yet, he will still cheat on her with some dumb city college girl. What a man does with his wandering penis is NOT a reflection of his wife’s worth, her appearance or nature. It is merely a means of him letting out his low self-esteem and blaming the spouse for it. People like you only validate such men and give them more reasons to keep cheating. Unfortunately, we live in a society where HIV-Aids is rife and woe unto the loyal ‘fat and nagging’ wife when her husband’s philandering catches up creeps into her marital bed.

Mothers with tasteless fashion sense

I never thought a time would come when I could pass up buying an expensive dress so that my husband and I can save up for our son’s stroller or daycare fee. Before motherhood, I came first. My needs had precedence over other’s needs. Now that I have a child, his needs surpass mine.  You have no idea why that mother still wears the same ‘drab jeans’ or ‘stinking weave’. It could be that she cannot afford a new one. Simple. Raising children is expensive. You would know if you were a mother.  Talk to some of your colleagues and find out why they cannot afford a push-up bra to show some cleavage yet their children have three meals a day, new and fitting shoes, and a good night’s sleep.

You will discover that these women with a tasteless fashion sense have streamlined their priorities. They would rather be deprived, not show ‘any leg or skin’, but invest in Sacco’s and Chamas so that they can protect their children from the effects of rapidly growing Kenyan economy and a stagnant below par income. Ask around, and you will also gather facts that indicate most mothers would rather go without new clothes, an expensive wig or their entertainment to provide a decent life for their children. Such his is the ultimate price of motherhood.

From one woman to another

Back in the day when I was single and without a child, I had my naive assumptions about marriage and family life. Many of them were shaped by a common worldview that wasn’t very positive. I see Njoki’s reasoning and can relate to it from back then and how misplaced it is now that I’m no longer single. One thing is clear though. Only the writer knows why she chose the particular ‘city girl’ approach. As a mother, I found the article in question to be very disrespectful, sexist, myopic, demeaning, insensitive, shallow and ill-researched. The undertones of this particular rhetoric come across as bitter and scorned. However, I have no problem with anyone using their blog to vent, ramble and rant but when they take all that to the mainstream newspapers, then something is amiss! I respect freedom of the press as long as it bears responsibility. This writer is preaching a very dangerous gospel to a young society that is already so impressionable by what they see, read and hear in the media. Garbage in, Garbage out.

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228 comments

ckangongoi July 15, 2014 at 11:30 am

The best article I have read since Westgate Mall attack.. I mean it..

http://mg.co.za/article/2013-09-27-00-the-rot-that-is-killing-kenya

This was the last good article I read…

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Carolyne Ndolo July 15, 2014 at 11:52 am

Wow! We'll put Wanjiku! That a woman and a single one for that matter can write a whole article to justify why men cheat is an insult to the female species!!!
To me, a man who cheats is a COWARD!! Period! I don't care and will not care to listen yo his reasons!!! If he has a reason to cheat it means he can deal with whatever it is so that he does not cheat…. The fact that he does not deal with it makes him one BIG COWARD!!

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HEZRON NJOROGE July 15, 2014 at 11:54 am

On point but not entirely…case in point,Njoki says..For goodness sake, stop going through his goddamn phone and you will stop asking who ‘Sheila’ is?

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 11:58 am

wow! enough said…that 'city girl' should read this.

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Margaret Wambui July 15, 2014 at 12:07 pm

I need to post this on her FB page,lets see what she thinks…Wanjiku, good job…

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 12:08 pm

Bless you! When I was a young "City girl", I used to wonder why married women "let themselves go", never "took care" of themselves etc etc. THEN I got married, had a child and understood PERFECTLY!!!! You have no time to take a shower let alone wear makeup, heck! You can't even take a long bathroom break! Your priorities change, even the husband and his wishes take second place!The only person that matters in the world is your child! Njoki is young – time and life will teach her lessons that will make her look back to her articles and wish she never, EVER wrote them or shared such silly thoughts with the public!

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TinasLingerie July 15, 2014 at 12:16 pm

wow!great article you have there! I am a mother but i thank God my body went back to its normal size and shape. Njoki should just wait for her turn to become a mother then we can start talking about motherhood, nagging and fat bodies.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 12:19 pm

Bravo! I am a single city girl, coincidentally with your name Wanjiku and I do not agree with that 'city girl'. I actually cringed when she described "stretch marks", lol! Anyway, you've hit the nail on the head and 'city girl' just needs to open up her horizons(away from the city bars with married men). Men have cheated for eons, and will (in my opinion) continue to cheat, but to blame it on their wives is just wrong. HIS DECISION, HIS ACT, HIS CONSEQUENCES … NOT HIS WIFE's! Well written Wanjiku!

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 12:19 pm

Kudos Wanjiku. You have just talked on behalf of other women out there….

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Gloria Ajami July 15, 2014 at 12:20 pm

This is a truthful account, it is an open reality from a genuine woman who has experienced marriage and motherhood. Njoki's case is that of "kutukana mkunga na uzazi ungalipo", unless she is never going to be a mother.

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Nancy Muriuki July 15, 2014 at 12:20 pm

nice response Judy, you hit the nail on the head.

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Maja July 15, 2014 at 12:24 pm

Thank you wanjiku not yet married but that article made me sooo mad when I looked at my dear lovely mum and the sacrifices she has made for us. City girl does she have a mum?

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Tabby July 15, 2014 at 12:27 pm

On point Wanjiku. You spoke for me!!

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phenomenalP July 15, 2014 at 12:34 pm

You just hit the nail on the head.Nice piece.

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Yunisita Oyoata Salisita July 15, 2014 at 12:42 pm

The most articulate feminist article i ever read…
Wacha nisome hio article ya "City Girl"

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Leen July 15, 2014 at 12:43 pm

i love your response Wanjiku, i was disgusted by Njoki's article and i do hope she reads this and write an apology.i actually feel sorry for her coz she is an 'ignorant city girl' who does nothing to add knowledge at what married women go through and why we get 'fat'. Kudos girl

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Caroline Jero July 15, 2014 at 12:46 pm

Whilst some have genuine reasons for being overweight, some are simply lazy and that is the truth! And being a mother is not an excuse to not take care of ourselves either. I am a mother too and when my little girl grows up, I'd like her to be proud of mummy not feel 'embarrassed' to show me off. Taking care of our bodies does not necessarily equate to going to expensive spas. For example one can have a walk in the park as a family! It's simply a nice way to not only get some fresh air but bond. Njoki's article was funny to say the least. Whilst I don't agree with some of her comments, I think a mountain is being made out of a molehill.

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Peninah Kariuki July 15, 2014 at 12:47 pm

Hats off for Judy Wanjiku Wanderi Jørgensen!!!! Perfectly put.I read the Njoki Chege's article goodness gracious,i cant even believe we share the same name,there is fantasy then there is reality…

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 12:49 pm

Lord I hope she gets to read n understand this article well. It wil be of great benefit to her n her city gal species. Well said.

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Jessica Brown July 15, 2014 at 12:54 pm

I havent read such a beautiful peace in a long time…..so true and experience is always the best teacher.Me loves it…

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Elizabeth Makheti July 15, 2014 at 12:55 pm

Great piece Wanjiku Wanderi Jørgensen I like esp this part "What a man does with his wandering penis is NOT a reflection of his wife’s worth, her appearance or nature. It is merely a means of him letting out his own low self-esteem and blaming the wife for it" and another thing you forgot to tell the city girl is that Halle Berry with her beauty and her money she was cheated on with 2 of her hubbies so its not about the shape and the nagging & the tasteless fashion some men just cant keep it in their pants.

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Pauline Watahi July 15, 2014 at 1:00 pm

i love the reply judy, she deserved it., i read that article and i was really shocked if a sound woman can write that. my mum couldnt afford fashion to educate us and make sure we have a decent meal. if that could be a reason for her being told she has outdated fashion so be it because its the reason we are where we are.

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Barbara Kenya July 15, 2014 at 1:04 pm

Wanjiku Wanderi-Jorgensen, you got it spot on, I hope this girl reads and is literate enough to comprehend. You said it and if she and all those who think like her missed it, let them atleast remember most importantly A cheating man will dip his penis in anything outside his marriage, whether he is married to Miss Universe or the local ‘Mama Mboga’. A Faithful man on the other hand, will stand by his wife through ‘thick and thin’ because he knows her journey and he appreciates that the body you called ‘ugly, unsightly and unheavenly’ is the one that carried and nurtured his children. He will lift those ‘flabs and folds’ and love her like no other man can. And yes, such men do exist, but you won’t find them at your local bar.What a man does with his wandering penis is NOT a reflection of his wife’s worth, her appearance or nature. It is merely a means of him letting out his own low self-esteem and blaming the wife for it. People like you only validate such men and give them more reasons to keep cheating. Unfortunately, we live in a society where HIV-Aids is rife and woe unto the loyal ‘fat and nagging’ wife when her husband’s philandering catches up with them in own their marital bed.
A cheating man is a reflection of his inadequacies, failures and low self worth/esteem

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 1:07 pm

Thanks Gal… This is indeed serves her right! i saw the article too and wondered how can someone be that mean and ignorant! Do you want to tell me you have no one in your inner circle struggling with weight issues? Damn! i would love to see you after you get yourself a family and i pray God that you are blessed with twins if not triplets! We can then talk over a cup of tea….

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 1:15 pm

thumbs up…wanjiku wanderi.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 1:17 pm

I should say that Wanjiku has spoke for most of us women. I saw the article and did not want to read it because it smelled poison, so i overlooked it. Wanjiku has said the truth. The 'city girl' should wait until she is married and has children for her to make a conclusion. A man will still cheat on a woman whether she is fat or slim, whether she is beautiful or ugly. At the end of the day, its a matter of boosting their ego and tasting the water to see if its warm or cold….finally they end up going to their wives and being good husbands. So the 'city girl' should experience all this for her to make a judgement. Kudos Wanjiku!!!

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Caroline Gitonga Wa Njoroge July 15, 2014 at 1:17 pm

Im amazed that she bothered to spare time on such words, i picked the low/high lights. truth be told, Princess Diana was pretty, stylish, not a stay home mom who spent time doing charity work, was petite, and all the rubbish this gal is trying to tell us to be, yet Prince Charles left her for an older woman, not so attractive as compared, etc . You see, the way it is, you get married for your own reasons. If it's for physical appearance and material things, well all that does come to an end sometime, hence the reason you invest in a friendship that you can enjoy beyond your hot spouse. you see, the hubby/wife, father/mother, who works hard to care for your babies, be it stay home mum or working spouse, each is a job that involves sacrifice and stay home mums do the bulk of work than we who go to work. Well, if we all left our spouses after they changed physique, i cant imagine what happens incase of an accident, they break their back, are on life support, depression, sickness, why say the vows then anyway? Well, Im married 4 years this August, happily i must add, I will tell you a sure thing, God is the pillar of my marriage, I give it ALL to him. If you think Love is a feeling, your marriage will only go so far. marriage is a choice, a choice to act, to stand up for your family, for your spouse and your babies, be they fat, slim, boring, snoring, wailing, and all these things that this gal imagines are the fabric that holds the union together. i never saw thin, stop a philanderer from slipping away, an executive CEO wife will find her man in bed with the house help, reconcile that, so let's stop pretending. people cheat cos they want to, and cos they can.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 1:22 pm

wow,what an article.Kudos Girl!

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Wacera Helen July 15, 2014 at 1:23 pm

Well put. Perfect reply Wanjiku

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 1:32 pm

Wambui hoping you posted.some damn mind like her needs exposer i wonder why she thinks she is a city girl.who is just naive and set back.

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Jackie Nyaguthii July 15, 2014 at 1:33 pm

Well said Wanjiku. As women we should learn to look out for each other. It's pretty surprising how despite having all come from a woman , society is the one attacking the body that birthed it, nartured it and gave it a voice.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 1:35 pm

Spot-on Wanjiku Wanderi, so so true. Kuddos! I hope she gets to read this and shelve her nonses. Keep it up gal.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 1:37 pm

What the fuck is this Chege bitch up to?She is just a desperate hoe trying to please men by talking tasty stuff.miss beauty miss socialite nkt!go to hell and back with your size 8 figure like we give a fuck?how dare you talk that ill about women as if you'v forgotten your mother has all those you calling tyres because of making you be.and you are here ranting!fuck you and fuck your writing skills!am not married and am 24 years and am just so mad with you licking asses of men expecting favour.if you are an old bitch and not married, calm your tits,masturbate in your bed and keep your fucking figure and watch us getting married,bringing up children and being treated like queens even with our tyres.you are cursed Chege city girl!To Wanderi,kudos young and beautiful mother.you so brave and we are here to fuck her up with you.Never give a damn to such desperate hoes.mother your children with no stress and smile at you kids grow instead of minding the damn figure which wont give you joy at your old age.This chege city girl should be hanged!

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 1:40 pm

I love this Wanjiku, thank you.That so called 'city girl' is a shallow and ignorant writer and should be replaced. I bet she has no female relatives, who are wives and mums to come up with such crude conclusions. Anybody, who has been blessed with a little bundle of joy knows that weight gain is the last thing on your mind. Women are on the constant struggle to fed for their children and if she thinks that asking the whereabouts of your better half is nagging then I don't know what she knows about love. The shallow 'city girl' goes ahead and advises women to work out and look good for their men. Women should go to the gym to look and feel good for themselves, to boost their confidence and appearance not for a man who will still cheat anyway!

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Elizabeth Ochami-Muyia July 15, 2014 at 1:44 pm

The best article I have read – ever. I wish someone would read it to Njoki Chege over and over again! NKT

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 1:44 pm

The City girl needs to hear this… I love me a plus size woman!!!! anyday, anytime..

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 1:45 pm

Maja this is what I thought to myself after reading the article. Does she have a mom?and if she does her mom must be the perfect woman and mother.Fashionable,not fat and definitely not nagging.

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Faith Mwaura July 15, 2014 at 1:46 pm

love every bit of this article…

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Shigom July 15, 2014 at 1:52 pm

I love City girl. She must have pushed the right button to have so many women worked up. Message is, let's take care of our bodies before and after the kids….at the end of the day you want to be fit enough to run around with your kids. Stop getting so mad, pick the lessons and guard your marriage with a great body, smell nice, look good and commit the man to the good Lord. If he cheats you will then know, you gave it your best but your man is the one who needs fixing. Not you! I go for a run every day with my married friends with kids. They run fabulous homes because the exercise has them feeling and looking great.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 1:52 pm

Society is the one attacking the body that birthed it,nurtured it and gave it a voice……I love that

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Muthoni July 15, 2014 at 1:56 pm

You write very well Wanjiku and such profound wise words for the dumb 'city girl'. Her article is what you read and smirk at as 'folly of the youth'.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 1:58 pm

Thank you for saying it for many of us. Thanks Wanjiku.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 2:05 pm

Did u call her city girl…last time I checked she was being interviewed on tv and I didn't enjoy one bit the interview on NTV…wanjiku..I call u the fearless influencer of society. For ur work ethic n that of your editor, the truth sells. Lies are what make us not buy that paper if our sons and daughters will get to read it.

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Samuel Manthi July 15, 2014 at 2:13 pm

awesome, she should know that karma is just like her and pretty soon she will bear the responsibility of her man's ways.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 2:22 pm

I just love this. .mmmh couldn't have summed it up better. ..On her face. ..

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 2:24 pm

Finally! Thought I was the only one having a problem with this girl's content & naivety

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Joseph muiruri July 15, 2014 at 2:31 pm

Njoki Chege i think someone needed to give a good reply to your article this is something am used to because we publish facts. Wanjiku is giving her facts based on her experience which i would 'trust more'. There is no way i would believe you that a man cheats because the wife is fat coz there are those who cheat with other fat women. You being in a mainstream you are like fire that need to be checked by people like Wanjiku and she did it for the sake of others and on their behalf!

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 2:34 pm

You have spoken for all the mums, this woman has the stupidest point of view ever!! Waaaa!!! Am I not pissed

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 2:50 pm

Great article..

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Okusimba Okunyanyi July 15, 2014 at 2:51 pm

Any links to the so-called "National newspaper' articles she has written?

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 2:51 pm

Thanks for the well put article Wanjiku….A stray dog will always be a stray even when he's well fed and taken care of…Njoki will take back her own words one day n i hope IT WILL BE too late for her.

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Eve July 15, 2014 at 2:53 pm

I could not have put it any better, clearer and objective. You got mad writing skills gal. Thanks for speaking for all of us.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 2:58 pm

Well put Wanjiku, kudos. You have spoken for many ladies who knows the worthiness of being a wife and a mother.

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Wambui JL July 15, 2014 at 3:03 pm

You Madam have validated my struggle… I've cried, wiped tears and continued reading. God bless you. Now if a married man with balls to come and follow up on both these pieces our society can have a meaningful discourse.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 3:03 pm

I call this city girl shit irresponsible journalism.
In a society that believe almost everything written,she does not care about the young naive girls taking her stupid reasoning gospel truth,we are busy fighting for women empowerment and sadly one of our own is destroying what our mothers stated.
Does this Njoki care about the young girl self esteem,the girl who is struggling to loose weight,the young mother whose biggest wory is not her weight but how her baby will eat tonight,the poor wife who just discovered that her husband has been cheating on her.
Shame on you Njoki

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 3:10 pm

I totally agree with you. Am a mother of one, married for five years and I keep myself well. A second born is on the way and am going to take care of my body again. We should not lose ourselves in the name of kids. Njoki went out of line on some points but told the truth on others.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 3:15 pm

Well put Wanjiku, There are many 'city girl's' out there. For all I care they can rumble on in their own social circles but let them be confined there, not to prime advertising space in our dailies. If they lack content, the media house best sell an ad there and stop watering down their reputation with utter shallowness.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 3:26 pm

Wanjiku, I have read Njoki's articles and hers is pure work of literature. She fits in the role of a city girl so well such that you are getting mixed up between who Njoki is and who city girl.As a gender expert her articles help me understand the gender stereotypes and the ideologies that drive them. The only thing she has done is that she did not put a disclaimer.You are a writer I see and you understand that there are different types and genres in writing.Have you ever heard of sarcasm, irony and paradox etc. Just because her's does not match yours does not mean you crucify her for speaking like a city girl. Trust me if her column was about a nun, she would condition herself to write like one complete with biblical quotations.That is what I call a creative writer-one who can fit in any role.

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Kenneth Mbaabu July 15, 2014 at 3:40 pm

I read the City girl article and being "a young man" felt pity for her. I just wish she reads this article.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 3:59 pm

you nailed it. i would have been arrested for libel. she will be taught by the world. i hope that when she gets to be a mother, she will truly struggle to loose weight. amen.

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Remmy July 15, 2014 at 4:02 pm

….and goose bumps i got,thanks mama!!

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beth July 15, 2014 at 4:04 pm

Hats off wanjiku wanderi fro highlighting this issue. while we as grown up women have skin thisck enough to understand thatw e are not a number in a scale but a person, i worrly about our daughters who take the what this bully says to heart and actually start having self esteem issues.
as a famous wnchor who was called fat responded " But what really angers me about this is there are children who don't know better, who get e-mails as critical as the one I received or, in many cases, even worse, each and every day. The Internet has become a weapon. Our schools have become a battleground. This behavior is learned. It is passed down from people like the man who wrote me that e-mail. If you are at home, and you are talking about "the fat news lady", guess what. Your children are probably going to go to school and call someone fat. We need to teach our kids how to be kind, not critical, and we need to do that by example." it is very sad for any young lady to listen to this shit!!sadder that a mainstream media actually published it to get ratings at the expence of childrens upbringing.

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Eva Norah Aloise July 15, 2014 at 4:15 pm

well said!! nice article. well done. the so called fat and nagging women have a reason to smile each day they wake up to see their beautiful daughters and sons. big ups mothers! and they nag their husbands to come back home early so that they spend time with their kids, because they want the best for their children.

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sau July 15, 2014 at 4:22 pm

Wanjiku Bravo! you took the words out of my mouth and then repackaged them beautifully! Having a PHD (head knowledge) without wisdom is being an educated fool! thats when came to my mine when I read Njoki Chege's piece.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 4:34 pm

Thank you… Wanjiku Wanderi…. Personally, I gave birth one and half years ago… Funny thing is the father to my daughter cheated on me in Nov 2013, 11 months after I had given birth, days before I graduated with my BComm degree and I was my back to my pre- pregnancy body… I was faithful to him for the 4 years we were together and still gave him time with child in store. I left his sorry ass and now he is busy bugging me in texts to take him back.. It just goes to say, a fellow woman should not speak that ruthlessly before she has experienced all that she wrote about.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 4:38 pm

As crazy as the city gal maybe, we cannot overlook the fact that some of the issues pointed out could actually be true, only that she did over exaggerate in her article.Its foolhardy to try and bash her article yet, she still raises pertinent issues that we take for granted. I agree that people change with time but as women its important to strive to fight for the things we love, like our husbands. For example a friend asked why now women sleep in ngombe t-shirts and a stocking on the head yet during courtship, we would wear sexy lingerie

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nkaranja July 15, 2014 at 4:58 pm

Thank you Wanderi! I can't wait to get home to my mug of fermented uji!

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 5:27 pm

While I am as perturbed as most by the propagations being addressed, I take offence at the blanket generalization that all men are in agreement with the City Girl. It is biased and if I may be as bold as to claim, in the same vein with which she pens her articles; baseless and informed perhaps by personal experiences. I daresay, there are men out who were raised by single mothers, who saw the struggle and felt the loneliness, who suffered societal scorn for being bastards/orphans and thus know better than to belittle the power of a parent- world views on beauty and class notwithstanding.

My mother taught me what it was to be a decent human being; to judge a person by their character and not gender, ethnicity, status or looks. My brothers taught me to be a man; to respect my present and strive for my future. My sisters taught me how to live in this world; to empathize and to leave my world better than I found it. They all taught me how to be a good man (scarcely what you think good men are about) and what to look for in a wonderful woman (hardly what the City Girl depicts).

My 2 cents: judge no man or woman by another's cover, let their words be their judge and indeed their actions be their jury. Your ideals and morality can then go bonkers as the executioner.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 5:45 pm

"I respect freedom of the press as long as it bears responsibility." Hear Hear Wanjiku! Very well said. It would behoove anyone expressing their opinion on any given platform to do their research and provide unbiased views. I completely disagree with the "City Girl" approach title as it implies that city-bred girls, particularly who are single, are sharing the idiotic, ignorant and mean-spirited notions shared by the original author which really isn't the case, her views are her own and she really should consider keeping them in check before exposing the world to them.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 6:02 pm

I totally agree with all the comments. Well said Judy. The best article I've ever read

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Tonny Mwendwa July 15, 2014 at 6:07 pm

This reply is well written, comes from the heart and experience. Njoki represents the generation of people I call lazy, inexperienced experts. These are the people who claim to know everything yet they have not even walked a mile in any of those shoes they claim to give opinions about. In addition, I think there is a deliberate effort to attack the family and normalize the ills we see in society. Casing point Njoki's articles.

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samirdave July 15, 2014 at 6:15 pm

This is brilliant. Instead of a long winded reply, all I have to say is kudos!

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Karemera Dean July 15, 2014 at 6:19 pm

Well put! I can't imagine something better than this.

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Cinta Jess July 15, 2014 at 6:38 pm

i just read both articles, well said. you have touched a lot of women/mothers out there including me. I have no children yet but i thought about my mother and everything she went through for us to be happy. I can't b-liv the audacity and recklessness of a woman demeaning other women in such a hurtful manner. Njoki is clearly a paranoid, stereotypical know it all. i actually pity her. she is the epitome of ignorance

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Cinta Jess July 15, 2014 at 6:40 pm

i just read both articles, well said. you have touched a lot of women/mothers out there including me. I have no children yet but i thought about my mother and everything she went through for us to be happy. I can't b-liv the audacity and recklessness of a woman demeaning other women in such a hurtful manner. Njoki is clearly a paranoid, stereotypical know it all. i actually pity her. she is the epitome of ignorance

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Jay July 15, 2014 at 7:11 pm

Wanjiku, you have shown maturity and wisdom in your response, something that I cant obviously say about hawt sizzling ms city bitch……anyway, she obviously has no real clue as to why people get into a relationship…Let her get stuck in her little perfect capsule….time will burst her bubble for her…..

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 7:13 pm

SHAGOM…..you clearly sound like a talking FOOL!!!!!Which part don't you understand?If a man/woman loves you ONLY because of how you look (a withering body)then they are as shallow as this city girl…..They should love you for your heart and soul that ar ETERNAL!!!!

Wanjiku Wanderi J, you did a good job writing to this immature, city kid who clearly sounds like the prostitutes who sit in a bar with married men and help them prove just how repulsive they are by cheating.

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 7:19 pm

On point…. I don't know what to say… I was shocked by city girl's article… But one thing is clear. She is a misinformed shallow thinker

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 7:43 pm

Beautiful and well articulated article.. love it!! Kudos

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 8:24 pm

A very disturbing and unfortunate article by 'city girl'.
Thanks Wanjiku for among others, displaying what responsible journalism is all about.

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Ephraim Gachagua July 15, 2014 at 9:03 pm

This is amazing….we needed you to tame the 'city girl'. Thank you

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 9:18 pm

while there is no and will never be anyone justification for men cheating..women please relax ,we are our own worst enemies,learn to ignore and move on.if this was an article written by a man about other men they would read it and brush it off!!..I hate the self righteous attitude women have especially when they get married..looking down upon single women because marriage has given them a status(wish i could overstate my sarcasm here).suddenly all single women are their enemies and ooh something must be wrong with them and so right with them cause they are married.drop the bitch attitude and support other women,else if the woman happens to be wrong just shut..go on be married,be fat,dress carelessly,nag all you can…and then shut up!!

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Anonymous July 15, 2014 at 11:07 pm

Thanks a million Wanjiku for such an elaborate, eloquent response. Njoki is a shame to the women community and you put her in her place. I have never been so pissed!! Thanks again…couldnt have done bettet. Kudos!

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 2:50 am

Well said!

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 4:31 am

Excellent! ……. Zebra teaching a lion how to hunt crowned it all-:)

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 5:32 am

What a reply!! I love u Wanjiku. U ve my mums name. As for Njoki, i have no words. I hate to say tht am also a Njoki. Soo dissapointed. I am 27, unmarried n no kids and i am a plus size. I have a loving boyfriend who wld never give a second glance to a slender woman. Not tht he hates thm bt he prefers my body size. Njoki u shd get ur facts right whn u say men cheat on women coz thy r 'fat'.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 6:10 am

Wanjiku…point well stated.this so cald Njoki can dare write without reasoning.she nid 2get ha own man n kids then she write an article of ha own experience nt talking 4others.family i mean husband kids job aint a joke 2balance.2all wives n mothers…i do respect u.i STOPPED judging when i became one coz i know where it pains.Njoki…ur article was quite unbeleivable

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 6:21 am

Grow up

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 6:23 am

Njoki cheges article was point on . U can tell yourself a million things to help u sleep at night .

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 6:57 am

Well put Wanjiku….for me I even dont like these 'city girls'

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 7:04 am

let the toddler grow she's still in her cacoon age

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 7:11 am

Best I have read so far, kuddos Wanjiku, Njoki need respect our mothers

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 7:14 am

This is the view of a married woman versus a single independent woman with no responsibilities, and no clue about what entails marriage. well put wanjiku…. do not judge until u have walked in my shoes.

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Lily July 16, 2014 at 7:25 am

This an amazing piece, i just shared it on my facebook and Nation should replace Njoki Kaigai with Wanjiku Wanderi – Jorgensen.

Please comment if you support.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 7:27 am

Kudos Wanjiku,great article right there…an eye opener to the ignorant lot out there.The 'city girl' needs more than just words i think prayers and fasting should also come in hand.

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Gloria Akinyi Mwangi July 16, 2014 at 7:31 am

Thank you Wanjiku for this article and thank for restoring my faith in humanity.

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Nyarmam July 16, 2014 at 7:33 am

I love your article, I will keep it and refer to it in future

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 7:36 am

Thanks Wanjiku Wanderi – Jørgensen. Your response to City Girl has just made my day. Who the hell does she think she is to judge all those "fat", "boring", "out-of-shape" and "nagging married women"? Does she even have a mother to start with? All I can say to her is that every dog has its day, and hers will come sooner than she thinks. Kudos Wanjiku, I enjoyed your piece.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 7:36 am

Njoki chege speaks for millions of men. She says what we are unable to say. Wanjiku and her ilk can bury their heads in the sand and see no evil hear no evil just live in shangrila.Am a man. Njoki chege has done brilliantly. The wise ones had better listen.

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TABITHA PHOTOS July 16, 2014 at 7:41 am

Ooh njoki no.This is where you are now?For those of us who know and have worked with you,this is a pure lie and insensitive.But anyway,your time is coming and our eyes are wide open

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Betty July 16, 2014 at 7:52 am

Thank you. for your timely and on point reply to the naive city girl.
I’m amazed that she bothered to spare time on such words, i picked the low/high lights. truth be told, Princess Diana was pretty, stylish, not a stay home mom who spent time doing charity work, was petite, and all the rubbish this gal is trying to tell us to be, yet Prince Charles left her for an older woman, not so attractive as compared, etc . You see, the way it is, you get married for your own reasons. If it's for physical appearance and material things, well all that does come to an end sometime, hence the reason you invest in a friendship that you can enjoy beyond your hot spouse. you see, the hubby/wife, father/mother, who works hard to care for your babies, be it stay home mum or working spouse, each is a job that involves sacrifice and stay home mums do the bulk of work than we who go to work. Well, if we all left our spouses after they changed physique, i cant imagine what happens in case of an accident, they break their back, are on life support, depression, sickness, why say the vows then anyway? God is the pillar of my marriage, I give it ALL to him. If you think Love is a feeling, your marriage will only go so far. marriage is a choice, a choice to act, to stand up for your family, for your spouse and your babies, be they fat, slim, boring, snoring, wailing, and all these things that this gal imagines are the fabric that holds the union together. i never saw thin, stop a philanderer from slipping away, an executive CEO wife will find her man in bed with the house help, reconcile that, so let's stop pretending. people cheat cos they want to, and cos they can.
stay blessed!

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 7:54 am

now this is an article for a nationa paper!

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 8:05 am

well spoken.that was so insensitive and not even a single research was done.get to be a mum the begin your story (city gal)

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 8:08 am

Well said Wanjiku..Njoki should get a life and grow up.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 8:13 am

great piece! & well said.
That son of a cheese!! She ought to read this.

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Mundia Munene July 16, 2014 at 8:19 am

I read the article and i think it was just wrong for a National Paper. The writter is wrong, disrespectful, cunning, ill-advised, abusive(fat women), cheap(going out with married men)and stupid(how do u put that on paper????. Wanjiku u should send this to nation as a reply from all mothers to the so called "City Girl". Well done Wanjiku

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 8:28 am

hmmmmmm…. a interesting read.

I stand in between as a single mother. I rejoice in being single and being a mother in equal measure.

Married women too have their prejudices on single women. Helloo not all single women out there want your husbands!

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Sarah Kanini July 16, 2014 at 8:30 am

Wow!.Now positivity we can read. Nice article

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julietmwikali July 16, 2014 at 8:37 am

I love your reasoning on motherhood, I am not a mother but I will be there and would love respect in marriage and in family. Fat or not fat, the man married you and not the city girl. They may meet in that club but at the end of it all she will be dumped as the man comes home to his family. or same man picks another one from the same club. Too bad city girl posses a risk in marriages. I respect my mother for the weight she put on because of me. I am the reason she smiles so city girl get a life.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 9:13 am

am single but i congratulate you Wanjiku.for sure njoki chege has a long way to go and a lot to learn..cheating is unacceptable and unjustifiable irrespective of the reason. its time you style up chege..

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muchiri ellena July 16, 2014 at 9:14 am

Cant put it any better. I am a mother and i thank God i retained my shape and size but that does not give me credit to criticize our fellow mothers. Was soo hurt by the article but i thank God you talked om my behalf Judy. God bless you

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 9:18 am

true. kitanda usichokilalia haujui mvunguni mwake.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 9:20 am

Well said…'City girl' aka ignoramus should read this.
She is the most ignorant and uninformed person whose article I've had the displeasure of reading.

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Shera Jen July 16, 2014 at 9:25 am

Apologies if i seem to take any sides but this is my take according to the article;
This is the most articulate feminist article i have ever read; truth be told! Having worked with mothers, a lot of women suffer silently out their because of such kind of social articles that frame them otherwise. Some young girls end up in unhealthy eating in the name of slimming, others out of frustrations they commit suicide because they cant stand abuse in school or rather finding a man to love them thinking they are fat and ugly. Beauty in our society has now become physical attraction, but to me i say beauty is in the heart, silent, unwritten, unspoken and unchangeable by time. I respect Journalists all over the world, but one needs to have humanity in writing. we will all be accountable to God for the pain we have caused to someone out their. I am a writer too, and i write stories meant to bring change and not to condemn, work ethics are important
Njoki Chege you may have some point in your articles,yeah maybe women need to exercise and maintain their body, but there are some social issues that can hinder them; which can be financial,stress related issues or whatever; you may have good stories but the manner of your article presentation is what brought out the inhuman nature; i have been reading your articles but i could not put it any better HUMANITY is so important; walk a mile in the shoes of others and get to know why they are the way they are then get the real stories not just one side of the coin.
We all don't have the same kind of financial status, beauty,social status, etc that is meant to keep all mothers young, but A mother is the most precious Being on earth. she carried you for nine months, gave life to you, nurtured you for all those years, she never gave up on you when everyone else did. Physical beauty fades away….. I am not yet a mother but i know how it feels like to be looked down upon.
Njoki; this is my approach not in a bad way; this lady makes sense, take criticisms positively that's my encouragement. I have known you and you are a good writer; We are the change makers, lets embrace positive change in our society and to our children. It starts with me and you.
Wanjiku spoke with so much bitterness a mother would have for the pain she went through in giving birth to her child. I have felt the pain…Thanks Wanjiku for venting out your feelings, it all starts like this and change begins……
As always i never close my statement without saying; be sensitive to each others feelings, Love one another just as Christ Loved you.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 9:31 am

Well put Wanjiku, thank you. I read Njoki's article and I felt pity on her. Your article is on point – your words reflect my thoughts. I am not married and I am a size 12, but I can relate. Being nasty to plus size women is just off. If we were all size 8 or 10, where would we get variety? Everyone should love their bodies as they are. God made us all wonderfully perfect and He said we are beautiful. And Njoki should come to my community where most men prefer plus size women to smaller women, although everyone has their own preference.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 9:37 am

Well said.Hope this arrogant City gal gets to read this.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 9:37 am

Unfortunately while you were all heaping praises on this post you missed the point; many men identified positively with Njoki Chege's article 🙂 I agree its not a 1 size fits all but many women don't make an effort to look after themselves after marriage. There is a difference between someone with a medical condition, someone who tries and fails and someone who is just plain lazy.

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Nzule July 16, 2014 at 9:40 am

I am really disturbed by the negligence of our media, they have failed to realize how much influence they have and continually abuse these platforms. Please keep this up, we need to counter a lot of media garbage with sense. Officially a fan

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 9:51 am

I am anew mother and just like Wanjiku describes, i have experienced it all. the shapely before-baby body, the thermos of uji and six meals a day. Today, i cannot fit in any of my previous clothes. Neither can i wear body-fitting short stylish dresses- Thanks to my post-baby tummy.I cannot leave my baby long enough to go for a manicure/pedicure/facial and so forth…My baby is healthy and growing so fast!!i would never trade that for a size 8 stretch mark free body. However, I plan to cut the excess weight once my baby is six months and into solid foods. Meanwhile, i will withstand my friends' comments of 'Umenona!' with grace

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 9:52 am

Thank you Wanjiku Wanderi.. I pray that Njoki also reads this!

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 9:53 am

VIVA Wanjiku VIVA for representing us women. This lady should know that men are generally polygamous by
nature. However beautiful and perfect one may look, his nature may just force him out.

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Arwen July 16, 2014 at 9:55 am

This comment has been removed by the author.

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peopleofinteresthub July 16, 2014 at 10:10 am

Love it, Judy. Well research, well articulated. I am distrubed that Njoki is actually being published in one of our dailys. Yours is responsible journalism at its best. Writing with a desperate, ill-meaning attempt of eliciting reactions is not what journalism is. Thank you for writing this. Thank you.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 10:24 am

well put

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Esther Neema July 16, 2014 at 10:30 am

Great response, I never read the other article that solicited this response but I am in agreement that unless one knows the other persons journey, they should not be too quick to judge them. It is sad that many of us are quick to judge other women and put them down calling the names. It is such a shame that most women want to justify their sneaking on peoples men on fatness of their wives. A man who cheats will say anything about his wife in a moment of pleasure and toss you out once he and the wife are in good terms. And what happens to the female who thought he was rescuing the "poor" man from his wife? Thanks for this article

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Liama Dawn July 16, 2014 at 10:49 am

Amen!

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Nancy July 16, 2014 at 10:50 am

Thank you Wanjiku for putting it down on our behalf – I mean – real women!!!!No reason in the world would justify a cheating spouse!!!

!

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maggie pearl creations July 16, 2014 at 11:47 am

Thank you for the response. I am also unmarried but i totally agree with you. The article was really demeaning.

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Phyllis Ndiinu July 16, 2014 at 12:25 pm

WORD!!!!

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 12:31 pm

Thank you Wanjiku for talking on our behave this "City gal" she should sit back and apologies to all mothers in this world that was so rude of her.she should be a mother and a wife first

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 12:33 pm

Great response and great article! I would suggest you keep writing!

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Dan Githinji July 16, 2014 at 1:08 pm

This Njoki thing is just a mere overgrown toddler seeking attention.

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John Nasaye July 16, 2014 at 1:13 pm

I am more enraged by the "credible" newspaper that received that article and went ahead and published it!
"City girl's" article is such hogwash that I cannot even begin to waste a fraction of a second commenting.
I am beginning to suspect a conspiracy to sensationalize their newspaper articles so as to stir up readership! Does anyone see this angle??

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Elizabeth Makheti July 16, 2014 at 1:17 pm

Great piece Wanjiku Wanderi Jørgensen I like esp this part "What a man does with his wandering penis is NOT a reflection of his wife’s worth, her appearance or nature. It is merely a means of him letting out his own low self-esteem and blaming the wife for it" and another thing you forgot to tell the city girl is that Halle Berry with her beauty and her money she was cheated on with 2 of her hubbies so its not about the shape and the nagging & the tasteless fashion some men just cant keep it in their pants.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 1:29 pm

Thank you. when i read that, i was livid! i kept silent for 30 minutes and couldn't find my speech, and i am single! I mostly thank you for you found the words when speech failed me.
And since i know she is loving the publicity, i promise to teach my child to take opinions as just that! Opinions and sometimes a reflection the devils that plaque people when they sleep.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 1:31 pm

I am not a mother yet, but I shed tears from reading this article. I fell sorry for that woman who read her articles and felt humiliated. The so called city girl should get her facts right. Wanjiku thank you for this great reply. We are created in Gods image.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 1:49 pm

AS A TRUE CHRISTIAN I DON'T THINK ITS WISE TO WRITE SUCH NONSENSE ANY WAY U WANTED FAME THERE U GO. BUT WHAT GOES ROUND COMES AROUND

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 2:09 pm

Wanjiku,spot on!!

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HARRIET OWALLA July 16, 2014 at 2:17 pm

great work..i love the article..very true indeed..mothers go through alot

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 2:19 pm

BRAVO well said.

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Anne Nduku July 16, 2014 at 2:20 pm

Gal, nobody can put it better than you have. Njoki is ignorant and ignorance is very expensive

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Christine July 16, 2014 at 2:22 pm

Wow! Am speechless, well written, well researched and straight and to the point. Kudos Wanjiku.

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Maureen Ogada July 16, 2014 at 2:26 pm

well said…keep it up

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Jane Kimani July 16, 2014 at 2:39 pm

The best article ever. This world needs level headed women who carefully choose their words. Women are created to be sensible and sensitive and sensible women are honourable.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 2:41 pm

Great article, God bless you for standing up for us mothers.

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Dorcas Baibe July 16, 2014 at 2:44 pm

That is the most interesting read in a long time and thanks for representing the views of many women. My opinion is, if a man cheats, do not take responsibility for his actions. Are the men (partners, husbands or boyfriends) responsible for the cheating or philandering ways of the women in their life's? I am a single mother by default, and i was brought up to take responsibility for my actions. An individual do things they choose to do and no one and i mean no one can make another to do what they do not want to do. So city girl should wait because "Experience is the best teacher"

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 2:44 pm

Ooh the folly of sassy, sarcastic, insulting young city woman whose journey has just begun. Such Ironic. From Buruburu to Fourth Floor rental flat within Kileleshwa, named an apartment and voila! these ladies become know it all, independent,ambitious and trending. humility is alien. Being poise and classy the only street they have ever traveled in life. Going through Wanjiku Wanderi evokes virtues that were instilled instilled in me by my mother, hence the better parent that i'm striving to be. Both understanding the weaknesses my spouse might have ignorantly committed especially with the weave as much as she must have mustered my failures. But Unions last because of their objectivity and purpose and sense of achievement together. Hope Njoki will mature up one day.

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Kevina Okech July 16, 2014 at 2:44 pm

What a man does with his wandering penis is NOT a reflection of his wife’s worth, her appearance or nature. It is merely a means of him letting out his own low self-esteem and blaming the wife for it. Don't I just love the flow of your words………… word after word. You have spoken, they have heard. KUDDOS for this great article gal.

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geoffreyceeloh July 16, 2014 at 2:53 pm

I like this response more than the original article. How ever we cannot rubbish the entire City girl's opinions ..some little element of truth

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Kimo July 16, 2014 at 3:11 pm

'Wandering penis'?…hihihi…I like that phrase…

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 3:14 pm

Wonderful response. The only thing I can tell the so called Njoki whoreva is, 'asiyejua maana haambiwi'. Wait unti she gets married (if she ever will) and lets see whether the (unlucky) man will be worshiping the ground on which she walks.

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Kevin Abdulla July 16, 2014 at 3:21 pm

At first i thought the "City Girl" is a satirists, but good satire should offer improving examples or at least make us consider choices we often take for granted. In this sense, satire is of huge value to society. While satire can be cruel to the victims it mocks, it should always be funny. City girl your article was way off and distasteful. Well put Wanjiku.

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Skinya July 16, 2014 at 4:05 pm

Wanjiku, you are such a gifted writer that it’s a shame that you should even afford the time to respond to an article that lacks depth, research and intellect. As a person who possesses great admiration for well written pieces, going through this piece reminds me of the miracle that is the power of the pen, unfortunately not endowed to all. Thank you! See, Njoki is a city girl who has discovered like many other before her, the shortcut to fame, money and staying relevant. It’s called the Vera Sidika syndrome. All you need to do is just rub your controversial, ill-informed and poorly researched opinion about relationships, sex and marriage on our faces and your ratings will hit the roof. It’s the result of a society that has bread decades of moral decadence and whose moral fabric is now in tatters. It’s what all media has taken up nowadays as the stuff that sells. Write or talk about sex and everyone will be scrambling for your morning edition. It’s pathetic how classic 105 was scrambling for a piece of the cake this morning. And believe me Njoki will not be losing any sleep tonight over your backlash neither will her employer. In any case, she will be rewarded handsomely with a promotion at the end of the year for writing pieces that stir audiences. Its how we do business in this part of the Sahara, and it sucks! And just so that you know, I can bet that Njoki will be on the trend this Friday. Because that stuff she wrote? Is awesome!

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Lilian Nyaboke July 16, 2014 at 4:11 pm

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Lilian Nyaboke July 16, 2014 at 4:13 pm

What about Suing the media house? Ladies we can do this!

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Ndunge Wa Muthuka ( Proudly African ) July 16, 2014 at 4:27 pm

Great article Judy. Throwing stones from a glass house is the highest level of insanity. … could we be dealing with a mental case….?

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 4:51 pm

Wanjiku Wanderi, your type is rare in our present day world! Trust me , this is not just for women, this is for all persons of good will and conscience who are willing to see beyond the simple excuses peddled around bars and pleasure joints.
Reminds me of a time my wife had a nerve condition and I paced the living room praying and hoping……I'm proud of people like you Wanjiku!

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 5:13 pm

I totally agree with Wanjiku's sentiments in this article. It was a joy reading it. There is a growing trend where the media is being used as a platform to spread certain values to society disguised as what is acceptable. A close look at those values shows that they are built on quick sand and what larks in them is immoral. Also as Wanjiku points out, women have become their own worst enemies, quickly jumping to embrace these fads to look acceptable. Look at social media such as facebook and you will see mothers who still think they are teenagers splashing their "looking goodo" pictures on daily basis for all to see and "like". This shows the kind of damage views like those of this city girl cause. And this is where cheating by some mothers who believe such hype usually crops in silently – when they think that they now look "young" and "attractive" they are capable of doing what men are always accused of. I know a man who is a very loyal, responsible, respectful and loving husband but because the wife has bought into these looking young fads – she is always on facebook chatting/sexting with other women's husbands and boyfriends.

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Karen July 16, 2014 at 8:13 pm

You nailed it WWW! cannot add or remove anything from what you have put forward….

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Karen July 16, 2014 at 8:17 pm

This comment has been removed by the author.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 9:09 pm

Wanjiku Wanderi, good work……..Njoki Chege i equally say good work. I agree with Wanjiku on one aspect, its wrong to judge every lady before you heard their stories. Putting all plus size women in one judgement clause was very wrong but ladies to many of you, getting kids is not a blanket justification not to put yourself in order…i know silently you agree with me, i have loads of respect for all the women and in particular mothers, Times are changing and if you can appreciate a flat iron more than the makaa comb that was being used to straighten hair back those days i also think we can appreciate modern ways of getting yourself back after birth(s) and not cling to the old justifications. Let it be noted, i agree everyone has a story so am not judging anyone,

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 9:20 pm

Wanjiku sorry for putting this on replies but kindly write something one the two ladies, one a journalist and another engaged in Charity organisation both whom have given birth to kids fathered by a married former coast polician. Piece something with the same energy and vigour as your open reply to Njoki Chege.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 10:15 pm

Oh yes yea and yes. Jesus bring back the faith in humanity. Ive been screaming this from the mountain tops. Newspapers that were once proud pillars of responsible print journalism now just strive to have readers. They'll bring in whatever writer that can string 2 sarcastic phrases together. Not caring about the aftershock.
Thank you so much Wanderi. Thank you. I salute you.

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Anonymous July 16, 2014 at 11:34 pm

I would actually want her to read the comments; before even the article… there goes your audience 'city girl'… they have spoken

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 2:02 am

Great persepective, the sacrifices you make as a mother… its one one easy decision to buy a school bag. Or to buy a dress or suit .or to hit the gym or pay for those piano lessons?

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 6:13 am

Well said. I am a size 2, the most I have been in size 4, flat bellied and without any stretch marks despite having children. Am well educated, whip up mean concoctions in the kitchen and dare say my bedroom skills are above average. But I have been cheated on with all sorts of women, plus size, skinny, black, white and everything in between. This child has no damn idea what she is talking about.

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 6:35 am

Now, looking at Njoki Chege's articles apart from this, it goes to show she has no life herself, and comes out as a bitter woman whose life lost meaning ages ago; and am 100% sure she's some married mans' mpango wa kando; the gym and trendy fashion she's talking about is not the work of her hard earned cash but someone else's'… How come people always think women are there to please men, look attractive for them and treat them like small gods to make sure they do not cheat? And who said its only men who can cheat on their wives? Who said it's just the lady that needs to look fabulous and chic? Women too can cheat, and the men need to look good as well, that crap of a pot belly signifying a man is rich is an archaic way of thinking. I have always insisted, one does not cheat because the wife is unattractive, because the wife is fat, or because the husband is this or that…one cheats out of choice, there will never be an excuse for cheating!

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 6:47 am

YOU ARE A REAL WOMAN WANJIKU…

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Erick Mutuma July 17, 2014 at 6:50 am

chineke! love every bit of it.am sure city girl has read this…good work Wanjiku

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 7:04 am

I love this! if only some ladies could take time and reflect what their mothers had to go through for them to become what they are today,relationships and marriages could be the best thing one would love to be in today. I do believe women are strong and thoughtful,men need a place to call home and a woman is the home because they can decide to call home,hell or heaven! Articles have changed the world. Awesome article Wanderi.

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 7:05 am

I love this! if only some ladies could take time and reflect what their mothers had to go through for them to become what they are today,relationships and marriages could be the best thing one would love to be in today. I do believe women are strong and thoughtful,men need a place to call home and a woman is the home because they can decide to call home,hell or heaven! Articles have changed the world. Awesome article Wanderi.

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 7:13 am

Congrats Judy….you have said it all…you are good role model to the mothers and wives in making

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 7:34 am

Thing is she is saying the right thing in the wrong way…one needs to be very careful….for instant..this world is a duty world n there are hyena's taking advantage…you know your mans joy you know his passion..use itto bring him back to ur arms give him a massage…let the kids off some time n wear that special silk dress…wine n dine……chat. N joke….let notmarriage be a joined agreement for ur kids up keep..n well don't ever ever check his phone…not. Every thing we see is true.. He doesn't need to waste his money.with another woman when he has got all at home…

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 7:45 am

Clearly City girl hit some nail on some head. I wonder why nobody is asking why the men are not coming to their wives defence. Maybe she has some truth. But hey who said the truth wouldn't hurt. Your hubby wont tell you you are fat, or dress badly etc. He will not say "babe you don't turn me on coz you are fat"…. Only a fool would do that. For a man it easier to just go out to the bar, meet a girl, hit it and leave her at the bar. Thats just a fact.

I fail to understand why this generation of wives want to compare themselves with their mothers. YOUR ARE AND WILL NEVER BE THEM. They respected their husbands, they adored their husbands,they loved their husbands unconditionally. They earned respect from their husbands, they did not demand or expect it.

City girl laid it out bare, i dont like how it comes out but damn it she has a point. A smart woman should curse on the outside but pick it a run with it inside.

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 8:01 am

Your story, though compelling is one-sided too. Why do women cheat on the grounds that their husbands are too busy for them yet they (husbands) are genuinely working hard to provide for the children including the fat,un-understanding, lazy woman with a roving marital eye.

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 8:57 am

Well put for we village,lazy and fat women….what njoki doesn't know is that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Am fat if that's what she says Bt am far much a thousands miles than her…fat people have big heart…

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 10:00 am

Can she bring her Mama we judge.The City gal, should ask Kim K.JLo/Beyonce/Naomi Campbell – and the works. they have all been cheated on with the money and all the bodies they posses. Wonderfully created in the eyes of the maker.Well done Wanjiku…

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 10:08 am

Wow! Well said to the damaged city girl.. It is wrong for her to use a privileged writing position to vent against, our mothers, sisters, friends and colleagues.

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 10:15 am

mmmmmh hapo umenena,nice to see people are expressing their opinion,and helping this soo called City Girl.

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Mary Macharia July 17, 2014 at 10:17 am

i totally agree with whAT YOU SAID WANJIKU I AM MUM MY SELF AT A YOUNG AGE N I HAVE LEARNT TO LOVE MY BIG BODY MY FIANCEE LOVES ME JUST THE WAY I AM COZ HE KNOWS THE EFFORT I PUT TO ENSURE THAT OUR DAUGHTER IS WELL TAKEN CARE OF AS MUMS WE ARE GREAT WOMEN BECAUSE WE KNOW HOW TO BE SELFLESS

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TWO HOURS BEFORE July 17, 2014 at 11:17 am

BRAVO…..I read that article by Njoki and with all honesty its a very ignorant column. Whileas we all agree our women need to also fix a few things here and there, her assertions makes married women look bad. A fact she is missing is that there is a male species who will cheat regardless who they are married to. Actually, I will not be surprised Njoki is the kind we call 'Try and surprise yourself' I see her as a very simple minded and easy to catch girl unlike the classy she wants the world to believe she is.

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 12:27 pm

that chege chic is messed up….anyway life is the best teacher.what goes around comes around

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 12:49 pm

Now this is the kind of stuff that should be on a national newspaper! Not the kind of retrogressive crap published through Njoki Chege!

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 12:53 pm

My thoughts ,your words! Well put!

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Peace Wanjiku July 17, 2014 at 1:42 pm

great ,

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tineria July 17, 2014 at 1:54 pm

i am not married and i do not have a kid but when i read that njoki's story her ignorance made me wanna hunt her down and beat the daylights out of her idiotic mind. i have a mum and sisters and am also looking forward to someday enjoying motherhood and all that will come with it. how can a fellow woman write something like that, making excuses for a man's immorality, i mean, come on… do you realize when you are busy running around to them gym and looking for creams to cover wrinkles and stretch marks your man will be busy getting it on with any woman who gives him attention be it your house girl…
it's like, you were getting every word that you wrote down out of my head… this bitch should not be given any opportunity to bring any woman down… may she go to hell

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Anonymous July 17, 2014 at 3:42 pm

Im proud to be called Wanjiku…. Coz all Wanjiku's speak nothing but the truth…. well articulated……

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Mwananchi Mtukutu July 17, 2014 at 4:32 pm

Brilliant! Aptly put, rational, objective, real, straight to the point. A very sobering piece!

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jessy July 17, 2014 at 4:47 pm

After 6 moths of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a prophet called saibaba of saibaba temple which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about this particular prophet. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he prayed to stop divorce and get a good paid job so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called trisha , she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email.After reading all these, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever. prophet saibaba you are a gifted man and thank you for everything you had done in my life. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine prophet, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on templesaibaba@yahoo.com

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Jane MUGAMBI July 18, 2014 at 1:23 am

Brilliant response to an article that has elitism and mediocrity written all over it!…Bravo Wanjiku, bravo!

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Anonymous July 18, 2014 at 6:58 am

Well said Wanjiku. Even Halle Berry with her beautiful face and body, her ex husband still cheated on her.A cheating man will always remain a cheating man.

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Anonymous July 18, 2014 at 7:27 am

well said Wanjiku,u have put the so called city gal in her place.she has no idea of what she is talking about.whatever she has written
there is total crap.she is a disgrace to women fraternity.let her wait until she gets married,then she will understand that whatever she has written here is nothing but crap.a cheating man will cheat no matter how pretty and fashionable their wives are.and to her information there are are real and faithful men out there who loves their wives dealy regardless of t heir sizes.Njeri you have reduced yourself to a very naive 6year old girl.if you have nothing else to impress married men with,just hold your horses"city girl"

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Anonymous July 18, 2014 at 8:08 am

kudos, blessings to you and family.

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Anonymous July 18, 2014 at 8:24 am

Lovely article, take up the social space and counter this negative propaganda:)

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Blessing Njeri July 18, 2014 at 8:26 am

I've been there, I know how it feels. Especially just after giving birth and even 2years on; no time for make up, no time for fashion sensitivity; all you need is to cover your nakedness, go around your day chores and thank God at the end of the day your baby is fed and healthy, the house is clean and everyone has eaten. Njoki Chege is still a young city girl, single, sexy, perfect body, and every man's dream girl. I too was, more beautiful than her, I didn't need push up bras coz my boobies were in perfect shape but had no idea what motherhood could do! I don't have any ill wishes for Njoki but just one word for her; "Just wait until you taste motherhood!" then after that lets see how well you can write such an article again. You have no idea of the thorns along a path you have not gone through madam CITY GIRL!!!

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Anonymous July 18, 2014 at 10:43 am

Thank you for saying it loud and clear. I have 3 children, have put on weight that I battle with and work like crazy to give my kids the life they deserve. If that means I cannot afford time and money to pay for gymn then so be it. I try to look my best but I may not have all the money to buy expensive fashionable stuff because my kids come first everyday. This stupid little spoilt monster of a girl who sounds exactly as you describe her ( the man's best friend) is discussing stuff her little brain cannot wrap around.She will get attention today; but time will tell. Cant wait to see how her story ends! Time is always the greatest archive and lets see how she documents. We have seen other loud mouths like her…20 years later they are now desperate looking for husbands and adopting children and would give their coca cola shapes to have any man in their beds at night…

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Sheila Kalisa July 18, 2014 at 12:36 pm

Well said. Blessings!!

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Sheila Kalisa July 18, 2014 at 12:36 pm

well put.

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Anonymous July 18, 2014 at 1:49 pm

This 'city girl' is an embarrassment to females both hitched or not.

I wonder what your thesis infurred pertaining the reasons a dude cheats with another dude! Don't act like it is far fetched.
My personal conclusion, it maybe coz of damn females ( pun intended) such as yourself that this would occur.

BTW, Njoki, go do some glutes, yoga or whatever! Ur jiggling fat is repulsive. Tone up those 'bingo wings' too.

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Anonymous July 18, 2014 at 3:19 pm

I would love to see her dodge the wrinkles when she starts growing old… Hata mawe huzeeka.First reduce your big forehead before calling others fat

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Tony Githinji July 18, 2014 at 5:42 pm

Great response, my respect for all mothers doubled with every word you wrote.God bless all the responsible, hard working women in this country.

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Anonymous July 19, 2014 at 3:43 am

Guard your marriage with a great body? Honey please….a great body will not guard your marriage

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Anonymous July 19, 2014 at 6:07 am

Baaaammmm!!!Check mate….to Njoki,"bye Felicia"

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Anonymous July 19, 2014 at 10:08 am

My view.. too many women stop loving themselves after marriage.. Njoki and Wanjiku are equally entitled to express their opinions as most of us here

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Onyimbo O'Kerama July 19, 2014 at 9:02 pm

excellent. brilliant. spot on. gentle with a soft touch. you have earned my respect. your husband is a lucky guy

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Anonymous July 19, 2014 at 10:18 pm

A great writer you are Wanjiku, someone said experience is the best teacher. Lets see the kind of articles city girl will be writing 10yrs down the line… She'll probably be a bitter divorced woman

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VioAnne Otieno July 20, 2014 at 6:55 am

Spot on Judy! By disregarding the age old quote that "it is much better to remain silent and be thought a fool…" City(?) Girl hit the keyboard and removed all doubt. My friend's granny once stated that " even if you feed a dog sirloin steak, it will still rummage in the bin for used tea-bags". Over to the dogs….

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Anonymous July 20, 2014 at 9:29 am

Lovely! Lovely!

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Anonymous July 20, 2014 at 11:04 am

I see both 'city girl" and Wanjiku neither right nor wrong…Heavy attack on the person though got me lost on the substance.We seem to heavily respond from our emotions and not intelligence…Someone need address the Njoki points [not barnish her person] without a baggage of the same fate she raises..

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Anonymous July 20, 2014 at 4:23 pm

Good response. The reality.

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Anonymous July 21, 2014 at 3:29 am

Waaah!!.., it takes a sober mind to read in between the lines, the words, and the letters…., to be on point what this lady is communicating……,

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Anonymous July 21, 2014 at 8:35 am

No sane man has NEVER cheated or tried cheating on his woman, irrespective of the time they've seen each other. The reason being that there's something "naturally odd" about all women which make them spontaneously less desirable after exposure to them.
Forgive me for my poor perception but i only see a clash between old school (Wanjiku Wanderi) & 3G (Njoki Chege). Kudos to Njoki, the TRUTH is bitter. Even Beyonce with all her ass, fame, beauty and monies could not make Jay Z to zip it!! http://www.inquisitr.com/1363557/beyonce-and-jay-z-divorce-a-forgone-conclusion-sources-report/

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Anonymous July 21, 2014 at 9:21 am

I appreciate that the city girls has opinions, like everyone has, and that is what they are, her opinions, something that she constantly forgets to mention in her articles.

Her truth is not the absolute truth. She should know that!

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Anonymous July 21, 2014 at 5:37 pm

Why is the writer purporting that us men have wandering penises

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Wahinya July 22, 2014 at 2:26 am

Well said Judy, thanks for knocking some sense into Njoki Chege. I still can't believe anyone could be so blind, egoistic and out of touch with the world even from a single woman's point of view.
Sure needs some growing up Njoki Chege; you'll not be a teenager all your life cos you are reasoning like one.

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Anonymous July 22, 2014 at 7:02 am

Njoki Chege is just a Vitz face with Range Rover opinions!! Well put Wanderi

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Anonymous July 22, 2014 at 8:51 am

Well said Wanjiku. Some Plus size ladies are even more beautiful than 'city gals'. +size is African. We should stop westernizing everything and be proud of ourselves.

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Anonymous July 22, 2014 at 9:54 am

well put across,be judging people,you try to fit in their shoes and see actually if can fit in them.KUDOS

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Johns Kerubo July 22, 2014 at 9:40 pm

I did this backwards, read your piece first then read hers a day later. Strictly from a writer's view point you blew her out the water. She came off as very angry and insensitive (read mistress mad at the wife nagging her mpango to come home to his obligations). She is preoccupied with the outward appearance, which I don't care how hot it can be is not enough to sustain any relationship. I do have to say she raised some valid points but her style is so callous so the message was completely lost. Yes it's true that mothers do tend to let go of themselves after giving birth. I attribute this to a full to the max schedule. It is hard to juggle four kids, a husband, a job etc. However, come west and women here are obsessed with losing post pregnancy weight. Difference between east and west women is that women in the east have domestic help. So I'm inclined to think that women in the east are not as motivated to commit to a routine. This is not a blanket statement….I'm happy to see that women in Kenya are becoming more health conscious and taking time to care for their bodies. All in all, Wanjiku Wanderi Jørgensen, you are a very skilled and well thought out writer. You are unafraid to expose your own vulnerability, which always helps you connect better with your audience. I hope your passion for hot button topics continues to be widely read and published!

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Anja Søndergaard Nielsen July 22, 2014 at 9:41 pm

Good one, Judy! It's sad that young women can read her pieces and point yet another finger at themselves thinking that they are to blame and/or not worthy of their husbands fidelity! Feeling feministic with you good thing that we are blessed with such fantastic hubbies – and children! You certainly have a way with words, Auntie J – I like it!

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Anonymous July 24, 2014 at 7:39 am

as usual the feminist in you only sees the problem in men. Call a spade a spade a fat woman is a fat woman why should we women hide under the so called stories?

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Emmy July 26, 2014 at 10:10 am

Am fat and beautiful. Njoki go to hell

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Wendy August 2, 2014 at 6:42 pm

This is one of the best articles i have read..so profound Love this phrase You are the Zebra teaching the Lion how to hunt.LOL…. well put Wanjiku

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Anonymous August 21, 2014 at 9:50 am

Brilliant article, brilliant subject matter, brilliant diction.

I'm an alpha-male and I agree with every statement.

Well done, and what a lucky husband you have!

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yangluc December 21, 2015 at 5:39 am

I agree with Njoki Chege. Political correctness is killing us. If you can not handle the heat get out of kitchen.

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